Migraine Mutterings
I just
went through my first Spring Break since I quit working. It was a
small taste of what summer break will be like. I must say that I am
not looking forward to it. I don't know how moms stay at home
without going crazy. I love my children, but I miss working.
I am
currently in the process of applying for disability. I have been
denied twice because "my symptoms have not changed". No
they have not changed. They are still as bad as they were when I
first applied. If there was a standard for migraine in the Blue Book
of Social Security, it wouldn't be so stressful and harmful for us to
apply for benefits. For most migraine sufferers, stress just makes
everything worse. I've been told that I can "work around my
headaches". The problem with that is I can't guarantee they
will hit on non-working days. Finding a job that is low stress
enough or is willing to work around my illness and still pay enough
to support my family is stressful.
It's
not just the pain that disables me. There is the nausea, which makes
me not eat. Since I tend to be hypoglycemic, that is bad in and of
itself. There is also the dizziness. I used to work at clerical
jobs. Working on a computer while dizzy is not fun. Trying to read
while dizzy just makes your head hurt worse. I also worked as a
cashier at Walmart for awhile. You can bet that is not pleasant
during a migraine. Trying to help a customer during a dizzy spell is
excruciating and scary. I kept expecting to pass out from it.
There
is also the disconnected feeling. This happens more often in a
crowded area. I can't hear or focus very well. I've had someone
tell me it sounds like the beginnings of a panic attack. It very
well could be. I'm unconsciously panicking at the thought of a
migraine hitting me out in a crowded area where I can do nothing
about it. I am also one of those people who gets very irritable.
And that is a nice way to put it. I'm going to use a foul word here;
feel free to skip a line or so. I get down right bitchy. I hate it.
That is not me. Everything sets me off and that is just not fair to
the people who have to deal with me. There is no way I could work
that way, especially since that can hit hours before a migraine.
Yes, I
am working with a neurologist to hopefully get things under better
control. Right now, I have daily (almost constant) headaches with
near daily migraines. We are hoping to decrease that. I know it
will happen, but I don't know how long it will take.
Labels: anxiety, disability, Migraine, migraine symptoms, migraines
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