Thursday, October 17, 2013

My Life so Far

This is my first blog, so bear with me.  I am a current migraine sufferer.   I have started this blog in the hopes of helping me deal with them better.  This 1st post is just to get down everything that has happened so far.

Today I had my "intake" with a counselor.  This is a hopeful step towards being able to manage the pain in a way that doesn't affect my family so much.  I am optimistic.  I've decided that I have to be.  I am not sure how much more down I can get, so the only way I can go now is up.

Today has been one of the not so good ones.  I woke up too early and couldn't get back to sleep.  So I got up and tried to do something, anything.  Made it through my email and Facebook before I had to give up.  Tried some cross stitch, which I have recently started to do again in the hopes of having something to do now that I'm not working.  That lasted about 1/2 an hour.  By then, it was time to get my kids up and ready for school.  Once they were gone, I had breakfast.  Could not concentrate on anything long enough after that to do anything.  Finally gave in and laid down with an audio book.  Slept another couple of hours.  That helped me make it until all the kids got home (both mine and my fiances).  They, being kids, were completely excited at being together again.  This means they were loud and very high pitched.  I got cranky and had to go hide in my room for awhile and cry it out.  I still am having trouble concentrating, but I felt the need to get this out in the hopes that it might help.

Through all of this, I have not had much of a headache, nor any of my other migraine symptoms.  Just crankiness and lack of concentration.  And then there is the mental breakdown.  I hate it.  I am so tired of feeling like this.

Today is a day that makes me very glad that I will be starting to see a counselor next week.  I need to find a way to help me cope with this pain while we are working on getting it dealt with.

My new doctor is great.  However, I don't like the new medication he gave me.  He wanted me to try Imitrex tablets for my migraines.  I've tried it twice now and I really don't like it.  It seems to actually make the head pain worse.  I've never had the pins & needles feeling in my head before and let me tell you, it is NOT pleasant.  I won't be taking this again and I will be calling the doctor tomorrow.

I'm very grateful that he is willing to look at new ways to treat my pain, so I'm hopeful that we can find something that works.  *toes crossed*

I have been to see my new doctor today.  I am already looking forward to working with him.  He is waiting to get my records from the previous doctor before he changes my daily meds, but he has already prescribed me a different abortive medication.  

*fingers crossed*  

I think he will actually be worth working with. 

Today's migraine is exacerbated by a sinus infection and a cranky 7 year old.  

Just have to keep reminding myself that at least the sinus infection will pass and the 7 year old won't always be cranky.

I finally understand the reason behind thoughts of suicide for those suffering from chronic pain. 

**No, I'm not thinking about it myself.** 

My little girls still need me and I still want to live. I'm just so very tired of being in constant pain. I'm supposed to work today and tomorrow. Short shifts before I stop completely to figure out these damn migraines. I'm not sure I'll be able to. Not only does that make me want to cry, but it pisses me off. Why can't my body just cooperate for 2 more days?!

I had my migraine MRI today.  Not sure what exactly I am hoping for.  On one hand, I don't want anything to be wrong.  But on the other, it would be nice to have a reason for me feeling so horrible.

**The MRI came back negative.  So, while there is still no reason for the migraines, at least I don't have something life threatening.

Hi.  My name is Cindy and I suffer from Chronic Migraines.

I've had them for over 20 years now.  It used to be that I might get them a few times a year.  However, in the last two years, it's been at least once a week, with at least a headache almost every day.  My primary care physician has been trying all sorts of things to help me with them, but I feel like I'm losing my mind.  I have been lucky not to lose my job.  My fiance is losing patience.  Not having insurance doesn't help.  I'm hoping to get a neurologist to agree to see me on a payment plan of some sort.

I'm not really sure what else to say, just hoping to at least find something.


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